The Foxtons Office Christmas Party



I was once invited to the Foxtons Office Christmas Party
This is a very exclusive, private, hand-picked, hush-hush Christmas Party
We drove down lanes and alleyways to a secret place for the Christmas Party
I sat in the back with a blindfold on as we sped through the night to the Christmas Party

The queue was long, stretched on and on, with men in suits and women tarty
But me and mine were VIP and so jumped the queue to the Christmas Party
We snuck through the door, led upstairs by a whore
And each of us given an adult smartie
We downed them with gin
And were ushered in
Down a dark corridor to the Christmas Party

There were midgets with coke trays attached to their heads
And groups of young men surrounding heart-shaped beds
Watching women insert objects into their orifices

There were volovons and finger foods stuffed into gobs
Tables of cocktails with straws shaped like nobs
And next to the nativity scene right by the hearth
They threw shit at a man who worked for Winkworth

I went out to the car park to try and clear my frown
But all I saw were Foxtons Mini Coopers bobbing up and down

My head was spinning, the gin was winning,
I staggered through the party
Ben from Accounts was kissing Rosemary, and Sarah was kissing Marty
I opened a door and with shock and awe was met with such an image
My wife getting it over the photocopier with the clerk from
Fire, Theft and Damage
‘He’s not even a qualified mortgage advisor!’
I shouted through my vomit
Then crawled to the exit to catch my breath for a single bloody minute

But was met with indoor fireworks spelling out their end of year profit
72.4 billion pounds it read, and blood, I started to cough it
As the Foxtons Chairman went to an after-party on the moon
in a diamond-studded rocket

Oh it was full of bile and avarice and duplicity and hate
Far from an office party, far from a Christmas fete
And so I beseech you, see for yourself, come one and come all
To the Carnivale of horrors, to this lascivious Christmas ball
Yes, I was invited to the Foxtons Office Christmas Party
And I loved every fucking minute of it




copyright - Shoreditch Boy

Animation - THE FOXTONS OFFICE XMAS PARTY:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gqnqYL8rEI